Charlie Sheen no longer Winning.

After suffering from a severe case of the dreaded illness, "Eeyore-ism", Charlie Sheen no longer seems capable of tapping into his Win.

"I.. don't know what came over me" proclaims Sheen, "It's like having a sugar-crash turned up all the way to 11."

Currently, police investigators are searching through Sheen's home for any sign of illegal drugs and so far nothing is coming up. "He either went through the entirity of his stash or he really does have Eeyore-ism." Explains Sgt. Dingus Kaun of the Malibu P.D., "The illness sounds mentally retarded, but I guess.. it's possible?"

More as this story develops


- Mouse